An update on the mother situation for anyone who is interested.

It has been a very unsettling time for me as the only child and the only person who has ever incurred my mothers wrath constantly. To this day I am terrified of upsetting her and making her angry with me because it goes on for days and days and I can barely function while she's in a 'mood'.
I went to take her shopping not too long ago and as we were leaving. I heard a noise and went to investigate and she had left the hot tap running full on in the kitchen. We also heard from a friend, that they went shopping and when they got to the check out, mother had forgotten her bank card (again) and they had to go home to get it and when they got there the house was full of smoke where she had left something on the stove. Every time something like this happens, she always says she's never done this before!!

She was telling me about a woman she went to school with who came to Canada as a war bride, mother was still in England then. She now is saying that this woman, who would be ninety if she were alive, is driving up to her door, looking in and driving off and her children are walking up and down her street staring in her window. Now we know that this is nuts and it's dementia talking but my mother does such a good job of convincing everyone that she's fine that, apart from my family, no one will believe that she is suffering from dementia. I can't push it because mother then has a fit and won't speak to me and accuses me of all sorts of nasty things. There are no doctors here so I cannot get her assessed and it's making me crazy!!

She finally admitted to being scared at night and said that I could apply to the local nursing home which I did and they assessed her as being too physically fit and not needing a place there. We finally were able to take her to see a private home, just residential, and she has agreed to go into it. Of course there is a waiting list so wait we must.

As I type her phone is off the hook but when she finally realizes this and calls me she will deny it ever being off the hook and will berate me for not calling!! I feel as if I'm bashing my head against a brick wall and really don't know what to do with her on a day to day basis!! She is still accusing various people of stealing so I never go into her home alone any more as she always accuses me of taking things too.

It's all very depressing and sometimes I'd like to just leave her and go somewhere else. I promised my dad I'd do my best, even though he said nothing would ever be good enough for her, so I will keep trying. I'd really like to forget that she even exists but with the way she is, that's impossible...